Josh's blog

Saturday, August 07, 2004

We're going low brow here so, watch out!

The last couple of posts were pretty serious, maybe even crossing the line into "deep." Just to let you all know that I haven't dropped into the pits of despair I offer this lightfarted, sorry, I mean lighthearted entry. All about. . . Gas. Yes, everybody gets it, and I'm not talking about fuel for your automobile. I'm talking about the kind that clears rooms. Gas is the evidence that God has a sense of humor. In my humble opinion, there's nothing funnier than bathroom humor. If you ever see a guy, off by himself, with a wide smile or even laughing for no apparent reason, you know he just farted. Seriously, watch sometime. The online encyclopedia - Wikipedia -even has a lengthy entry on it, of course it's listed under the proper name - flatulence. What else in life do we have so many names for? In my family we called it 'shooting bunnies'. For further investigation, Wikipedia, offers a link to this site which handles the topic in a question & answer format. Dealing with, for example, such burning issues as:

  • Is it harmful to hold in farts?
  • At what time of day is a gentleman most likely to fart?
  • How much gas does a normal person pass per day?
  • Do turtles fart?
  • Why do chicks always deny farting?
  • Is it possible to capture a fart in a jar ((or perhaps a tennis ball can) and save it for later use?
Another section deals with post-release etiquette, I for one always say "What?" as if someone has just asked me a question that I need repeated. In northern England after farting, if one wants to be polite you should say, "More tea, Vicar?" In Scotland, it was overheard someone say, "Well, there's no point in having an arse if you can't let it rejoice in song!" I feel better already. I'm sure Grandma's smiling down on me from heaven. Yep, real proud about this post. . . "What?"

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