I am Josh - A Christmas Craft Contest for You!

***Pre-blog disclaimer*** First let me preface this by saying that I've never suffered any real issues with self-esteem. I definitely experienced some awkwardness in my early pre-teen and teenage years but nothing that has left any permanent damage. That being said I now present you with an opportunity to make fun of me, if you like. In fact, if you do a really good job - I might reward you for it. Read on... ***End Pre-blog disclaimer*** I am Josh. It's a simple little sentence that not only informs you who I am, but also offers you the opportunity to see a glimpse of a growing image of self-confidence and a healthy bit of ego as well. I am Josh. I've always been "creative" though I hate calling myself that because I think too many people call themselves creative when the term would define them best is "glue-gun owner". You know how when you are little and you're helping your mom hang Christmas ornaments on the tree and she pulls one out of the box and says, "Look honey, this is your ornament from your very first Christmas!" You smile and nod, take the ornament in your hands to get a better look - after a few brief seconds you hang it on the tree. But when you really think about it you weren't very impressed. It's not that the ornament lacks any charming qualities, it's just that you know, deep down inside that it's not really your ornament - it's your parents. I am Josh. I decided to do something about this problem and the solution struck me when I was about 7 years old. I made my own ornament. I am Josh. Why would one create an ornament and use this phrase and my picture? The answer is simple - I am Josh. Every Christmas I get to see MY ORNAMENT on my parents tree and know that it is really MINE. Not some store-bought, mass produced "Baby's First Christmas" tripe. This is me baby! Nothing but the finest manilla paper that Chapel Hill elementary had to offer and the lasting quality of a no.2 pencil. I AM JOSH. Here is your opportunity to own YOUR Very own "I am Josh" ornament. After being picked on by my Uncle for more years than I can remember about my ornament - I'm giving him, and the rest of you, ample opportunity to make as much fun of me as possible. Download the "I am Josh" Christmas Craft. Requires Adobe Acrobat Reader - if you don't have it yet, it might be time to change out of your Z. Cavaricci pants, put down your hair crimper and download it from Adobe. Follow the simple instructions on the craft sheet and have fun. I will be giving a prize to the best entry and will post some of the best right here. Get "creative". Heck - take out my picture and add the word "not" to make your own "I am not Josh" ornament. Even if you don't customize your "I am Josh" ornament send me a picture of you it hanging on your tree and you might get something special. Merry Christmas!

Gloating, Ferguson & Holiday Wishes

Post election gloating: Since I haven't done it yet, I will now. We win, there are more of us than you. Congratulations liberals, on being on the wrong side of history yet again. The Bush election news feed may be absent from the blog but don't expect the assaults on your liberal ideologies to ever stop. I know its pretty childish but... Nah Nah Boo Boo. We win. Ferguson: Yes folks, I'm now the proud owner of a Ford F-150. It's big, red and eats gas and small dogs that people often confuse with cats. This is Ferguson. In the tradition it's predecessors; Ed, William and Wesson, I have named my new truck. Ed was a red Ranger, vinyl seats with a plastic ice cream spoon affixed to the dash. Owned by my best friend Jeff. William was Jeff's purple 1993 Ranger. (I know Jeff, it was technically called "eggplant", but let's face it - that truck was purple) William was the truck that made the trip with Jeff and I to Florida to visit Disney, "Clearwater" and detour on our way home through Virginia Beach. Wesson - like Smith & Wesson, well I guess I'm the only one that called him that, was my tan (Gold!) 1994 Ranger. A great truck for it's time. I traded in Wesson for Ferguson. At first I was having a little trouble getting into parking spaces so, I became "that guy" for a while. You know "that guy" the one that feels it's okay to take up anywhere from two to four parking spaces. Yes, "that guy" is me. Well, I've gotten used to driving it but I'm sure every once in a while I'll be "that guy" again. Ferguson is turning out to be a great truck worthy of a big tough name, a name normally reserved for bullies. (If your name is Ferguson and you're not a bully - well, you could have been... Beat somebody up already, live to your full potential!) I asked a friend of my to take some pictures of Ferguson for me. This is what he sent back. I don't want to be a jerk or anything but, I just don't see this guy being taken seriously as a photographer. Oh well.

Holiday Wishes: I figured I'd put a link to this out here. Mom and dad have been asking for it so why not let the rest of the world know too. What? Did you think I'd be making holiday wishes for you?

Oh.

Like "I wish you all a beautiful holiday season - celebrating the true meaning of CHRISTmas."

Sure, I meant that too, of course.