Evildoers beware!

Years ago there was a line of toys called Spytech. The toys, from what I understand, didn't work all that well, but the advertising did. Well, at least I thought they did because I made a phrase from the commercial a permanent part of my vocabulary. The commercials followed a simple formula:

1. Adults are naturally evil beings trying to do sneaky things
2. Kids must foil the nefarious plans of these adults
3. To do so, they must spy on these adults - using Spytech.
4. Kids find out valuable info to stop adult's plans.
5. Adults realizing their evil intentions have been thwarted lament -"They have Spytech - they know!"
6. Commercial closes with cut to Kids with cheesy grin and thumbs up.

Being the good 12 year old consumer that I was, I started saying "They have Spytech - they know!" or modifying it saying "They don't have Spytech - they don't know". Years pass and it sticks with me. If I'm saying something about someone and my wife tells me to quiet down - I remind her that they don't have Spytech. If I'm muttering under my breath about the horrible driver in the car next to me, while I have my window down, I can rest assured that they won't hear me as they lack the appropriate Spytech gear to listen in. My wife always responds, "There's no such thing as Spytech!" To which I respond, "Yes there is- they just don't have it" She rolls her eyes most of the time once my superior logic has quieted her arguing. A few months ago Kirsten and I were helping our friends Jeff & Melissa Rockwood move into their new place. We ate at Panera before we got started, and as we were sitting there one of Kirsten's former co-workers came in and sat a couple booths away from us. Kirsten started talking quietly, so that her former co-worker wouldn't be able to recognize her voice. It wasn't that Kirsten didn't like this person, it's just that at that time she didn't really want to talk. I informed her that from all appearances - her former co-worker did not have Spytech and would not hear her. Kirsten responded with her customary "Spytech doesn't exist..." stuff. I responded as I always do and Jeff asked about the "Spytech" thing. I explained to him the story I just recounted above. We left and started moving the Rockwood's belongings to their new home. Earlier this month, to thank us for helping them out with the move, the Rockwoods treated us to dinner and a special gift. Spy Gear A new version of Spytech, Spy Gear is much smaller than its early 90's counterpart. Smaller but definitely not any less conspicuous. So thanks to the Rockwoods I have Spytech! Errm, I mean, I have Spy Gear! The item on the left is the Spy Micro Listener; on the right is the Spy Voice Scrambler - perfect for making threats - as long as you can fit it to less than 5 seconds of recording time. I have here is a sample of what the Scrambler sounds like. The first is me speaking, the second is high speed and the final is low speed. I say that because you wouldn't know who was talking the last two times. In fact if you don't know what I sound like anyway you wouldn't know if it was really me the first time either. Maybe it isn't me at all! In my last post I told you about my trip to Ikea. What I didn't mention is that the first time I went I ate some of their so-called food. To put it politely, it did not agree with me and this time I was going on the offensive. I put my Spy Gear to work on my trip to Ikea - those Swedish meatballs are up to something, and I don't just mean giving people indigestion and fiery diarrhea. I attempted to find out what was going on back in the "kitchen." Unfortunately, Kirsten only wanted to shop, while I just wanted to get to the bottom (Ha!) of the meatball mystery. They might have escaped this time but, watch out Svėn & Ŏlgä - I've got Spytech, dang I mean Spy Gear! You can get your own Spy Micro Listener at Amazon - also be sure to check out my product review on it. Thanks Rockwoods! I'll be sure to use my new powers for evil not good. I mean the other way around. Or do I? Whaa Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha!