Focus on Endangered Species: Josh Smith

Autumn is a great time of year, the leaves changing colors, the crisp morning air. . . the INSANE KILLER BEES that make their way indoors to find a warm place to hang out and attack people. Seriously - at my office right now there are these HUGE bees, I mean they are big, they make a lot of noise and slam into windows and light fixtures, looking ( I assume ) for a way back outside. I noticed/killed a few of them in our quarter of the building at the end of last week and didn't think a whole lot about it until we had 4-6 of them trapped inside the fluorescent light fixtures above our head, buzzing and banging angrily around searching for an escape on Monday morning. Then we started to notice more and more of them, in total we've probably had around 15 - 20 over the last 4 days. So we call the building maintenance to come take care of the problem. That is - find out where they are coming from and execute them with extreme prejudice. When the maintenance guy got there this morning he got out a ladder and lifted one of the ceiling panels and stuck his head inside. Now, those of you who know me know that I have a very vivid imagination. I had thought of doing this same thing. Only in my head, instead of sticking my head up in the ceiling and finding nothing - a giant swarm of very angry bees sees the sudden burst of light created by the removing of the ceiling panel and fly stinger-end-first straight into my face. Whereupon I fall to the ground writhing in pain as the bees, now stirred to a frenzy by my flailing appendages commence to eat my flesh. Well, needless to say it didn't happen to the maintenance guy. He even stuck a flashlight up there just to make sure that if there were any, he could provide them with a well-lighted path straight to his face. He opened up the light fixture and cleaned out what I thought to be around 10-15 dead bee larvae and remove the carcasses of 2 bees who's battle with the fluorescent tubes had come to an end when they had finally managed to slam the last bit of life out of themselves. After cleaning out that fixture he looks at me and says - "They're honeybees!" Like I'm going to respond cheerfully about that. "Honeybees! That's awesome, I've always hoped that my life would end being eaten alive by honeybees! And hey, I get the bonus of having it happen to me INSIDE at WORK too!" So after the maintenance guy/ amateur Entomologist makes this fascinating discovery, he closes up the light fixture and says, "I'll have to figure out what I can do about this." Thank you captain obvious. About 3 hours later he comes back and tells my co-worker that because they are honeybees He can't kill them because, supposedly they're an endangered species. Yeah right, if they're endangered why isn't the honey shortage a big campaign topic. John Kerry:

We need to eliminate our dependence on foreign honey. It's bad for America and if you put me in the Oval Office, I'll lead us along with our allies to find a more peaceful and compassionate way to get honey.

George W. Bush:

First my opponent was for honey on his oatmeal, now he's against it. What does that communicate to our domestic bees? You can't call yourself a leader and then undermine the bees you're campaigning to lead.

Anyway, so supposedly they're endangered. He said we could only do something about if they sting or bite somebody. You know where I stand politically and it translates to insect/homosapien policy as well. I completely support the idea of a preemptive strike. Of course I don't want to get stung but do you think this might be evidence enough for us to declare war on the bees?